My darling Lindsay sent me this blopic.
"Textual Attraction" -Discuss
Sometimes I think that a guy is really cool, so I give him my number and he then shatters my dreams by either A) Texting me before calling me which is not ok. B) Using contractions and text lingo, or whatever the fuck it's called. Spell the fucking word. Take the time. I will not date someone who wants to know if "ur going out 2nite'' for the same reason I will not get my hair cut at a place called "Scizzor Banditz", it's not funny, it's not cute, cut the shit, C) Uses a :) or a ;( or a fucking :P. The father of my children will NEVER have ended a conversation with a sideways face. End of story.
Wow – you said a lot there Lindsay
Okay – let’s ABC this.
A) Wait – guys CALL you? What? FUCK! You have some standards lady! Maybe I should get me some. Standards.
B) SHUDDER. Yes. The only people who are allowed to text me like that are my parents because texting a sentence is a ½ hour process for them. I prefer they don’t text at all. But, INSTANT turnoff for dudes… unless they’re just being annoying-cute. Then it’s annoying. But forgivable.
C) Okay, I’m bad for the faces. I do it. I sideface. Because sometimes an emoticon can change the whole “feel” of a text. Don’t overdo it though. I sideface 1 in 20 texts? I dunno. More to people who sideface me, anyway. I will never father your children.
Also, I will also probably side face you in a lot of texts from now on in an attempt to be cute and annoying ;) Puke.
D) To add to this discussion… what about jerk faces who are good texters? Why is proper grammar and the ability to string a sentence together such a turn on?? A good back and forth can drive me insane. What? You’re a no good bum? I don’t care. Text me you dreamboat!
E) I think this might constitute as “whoring” but sometimes I dream of starting a sexting business where I charge people $1.25 per sext message. That way maybe I’d get to sext a little more and I like money. But then I’d have to prevent myself from yelling at bad texters. Man, life is a trick. And if I can't get people to sext me for free, I don't know how I'll get them to pay for the priviledge. Ughhh.
Okay. Good talk. Really like how I made myself look like a pathetic hobag. Good. You needed to know.
Heart your face Lindsay. Most of the rest of you as well.
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2 comments:
it bugs me when I don't have enough time to properly text. Sometimes I'll be on the train, heading towards a tunnel, and I have to send a text RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
that is the only time it's ok to text "on train now, meet u at car. luv u"
But that's fucking it. And I'm proud to announce that I've never in my life used a sideways face, and only used emoticons twice online. Because standards. I haz thems.
Okay. I've been thinking about it and I sideface more than I previously admitted. I don't care. I'm going to continue without this crushing guilt. 80% of communication is non-verbal. I think a certain percentage of texts should be non textual. They have yet to come up with a sarcasm font. I need mah sideface.
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