Stat!

Best Day Ever?

Lindsay Rae is moving back from Prince George!!! I received 2 packages in the mail containing the hoodie and necklace I ordered online! My car started! Lindsay is moving back! My Mom wants to look at a fixer upper condo in Crescent Heights! My writer's block on my paper is unblocked! Lindsay is moving back! And other things.
It's golden, this day.





You know what I want??



And I deserve it.

Ask The Magic 8 Ball!!!

Dear Magic 8 Ball

Q1: What's up?
A1: Cannot predict now.

Q2: That's kind of a cop out answer - dontcha think?
A2: Cannot predict now.

Comment: You son of a bitch.

Q3: Do you like Christmas?
A3: Ask again later.

Q4: Later as in after you've gotten your presents and judged your happiness based on them?
A4: Signs point to yes

Q5: Want to give me a hint as to what I should get you?
A5: It is certain.

Comment: I suppose we all want certainty. Especially 8 Balls. I just don't know if I can get you a concept as a gift. Besides, the world is a changing place. I guess what I'm trying to say is that what I want for Christmas is for you to pull your pants up a bit. Or am I taking your hint too literally?

Q6: That question I just said.
A6: It is decidedly so.

Comment: Okay. Well, sorry I went off a bit back there. Besides... I don't want any hints that are too obvious, cause then it won't be a surprise. Although, a toque/scarf combo would look ADORABLE on you. Okay. Good chat.

Want a boyfriend?

His smarmy little face eyed me as I eyed him back on the righthand side of my facebook page. Seriously? This douche is who you're trying to reel me in with AreYouInterested.com? Pass me a cat.



Ahhhh... Das ist besser.

I mean, look at this guy



LOOK AT HIM!



His name is Mitch. And Michelle, if you're reading this, I mean no offence. I just mean... actually, I do, beeatch. It's been far too long since we've fought. Anyway, you're probably not reading this. I don't think I gave you the address. Maybe I will. And say I wrote about you. THEN you'll read it.

SO. I obviously need to go to bed.

But before I do... like, this Mitch guy. Am I right? Would any of my readers care to stand up for him?

Update: Here's the Zoosk Guy. Headline: Why Are You Waiting?
Answer:


So readers? Who'd you do?

Must learn German, look at this.

Hello readers!

Good golly you are looking sexcellent today. So! When I'm feeling busy or lazy I like to put up pics I enjoy. Here are some. I'm going to go study.

Pics

Hey! Readers!!




Kitty o the Day



Sassy! Just the way I like.




My Dream Home

Seeing Red

What you've missed since my last post. A lot of girlish giggling and foot twisting, a lot of boring school junk and ZOMG HOLD THE BUS RIGHT NOW... IMPORTANT EMAIL COMING IN FROM BELOVED READER CHELSEA RAUCH.
Chelsea writes...
nothing... she's sent me a link to a KTLA news story
http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-ginger-beating,0,999291.story
If you'd like to read the full article... the gist of it is Kick A Ginger Day made it to year 2!
Wow! Some Middle School gingers in the US got kicked and hit for being born. This hilarious discrimination MUST STOP. I mean... what if someone kicked ME? And what also upsets me, is gingers were being HIT as well. Clearly breaking the rules. What's next? Will Kick A Ginger Day turns into Ginger Genocide???!!?!?!?!!!
I think we should take today to honor some important gingers.
1) My immediate family. Bless our hearts.
2) Jessica Rabbit, Daphne from Scooby Doo, Archie, Kyle Broflovski, Groundskeeper Willie, Wilma Flintstone and other Red Head cartoon characters
3) This kid who wrote a hilarious love letter I found on the internet the other day... http://theyoungmanhoststhetogaparty.blogspot.com/2008/02/peter-interests-kristen-hilarious-love.html
4) Sex God Josh Homme and hot royalty Prince Harry

And you know... lots of other people too. And listen... us gingers have a sense of humor, we just ask if you must "kick" us, one kick each. Not too hard. Don't "beat" us. And only once a year.
I haven't talked to the union about it, but I think we could probably settle on something like that.

A Poem of Protest

Imagine a world without red hair
A world without foxes and orange cats
A world without Gillian Anderson
That world would seem pretty flat

Imagine a world without Santa Claus
That's right, he had red hair too
Our pale skin bruises so easily
When you kick it, it turns green and blue

Imagine a world without red hair
Just Blonde and Black and Brown
Yes, the thought might start you smiling
But if it happened your smile would turn down.

In a frown.
Remember Charlie Brown?
He liked that little Red Haired girl.

Imagine a world without red hair
I can't! I mustn't! I'll not!
It's a beautiful hue
So fuck you! And fuck you!
I even love red headed pot.