Monkey Hooker Halloween Spook Story

A firey red ball falls to the floor, onto his shell body. Joel, a dashing young parasite, reacting on pure nerves, skitters quickly to the side. From above, the sole of a worn, yellow high heel.
Crunch.
Squish.
The shoe belongs to Sally Apesmick, a monkey hooker enjoying her first cigarette of the evening. She never intended to kill Joel. Sally is a lover, not a fighter. From Sally's legs, the parasite's family weep and cry revenge.
The night is cold. It's almost November.
Almost November, but not quite! My night. This is Halloween!
Sally's painted lips part suddenly in a huge grin showing a little too much teeth. A monkey hooker for real 364 days of the year... a monkey hooker for pretend on one. Tonight. Sally's night off.
Where first?
"Hey! Nice costume!" her thoughts are interrupted by a zebra dressed as Boba Fett.
"Thanks!" Sally calls back, "Where are you heading?"
The zebra gives her a crooked smile... "Haunted house."
His nasally, yet foreboding voice sends a shiver up the back of Sally's lavender halterdress.
"It's going to be super fun. If you aren't too scared."
Sally shrugs and climbs up Boba's back as he sings a song about haunted houses to the tune of "lollipop" and trots down the road.
The jungle gets darker and darker as the two move away from Animal City. Boba stops singing and slows to a walk as they head off trail.
"How far away is this place?" Sally moans. "I still need to get my drink on tonight."
"Did you ever hear the legend of the Dead Zebras?" Boba changes the subject.
"I dunno... something about dead zebras coming to life on..."
"On Halloween!" Boba finishes for her. "They come back to eat the souls of animals."
"It's just a story" Sally snorts as she eyes the forest with new fear.
"You sure?" Boba laughs and Sally falls mid air with a smack to the ground.
"Boba?"
A haunting neigh is the only response.
"BOBA!!!" She cries and starts running to where she thinks the trail is. Thunderous hoofbeats are coming from every direction.
"NOOO!" Sally only sees traces of black and white ghostlines. They're all around her.
*****
Sally awakes without a soul. The dead zebras gone with their dinner. Being soulless feels similar to being a hooker monkey on a bad day. She stumbles back to the path, relying purely on senses... the smell of the trees, the feel of dirt beneath her feet, the sound of...
The sound of her parasites.
"Sally, Sally, Sally, Sally..." they chant
"Yes..." The words that come out of her mouth feel unreal.
"Sally... you belong to us,"
"Yes."
"Sally... it's time to kill all the creatures you love most. It's time for revenge."
"Revenge." Sally repeats. But her words are not her own.
"For Joel."

Hey

5 minutes. I'm giving myself 5 minutes and that's it. But at least it's 5. Listen. Here's the scoop. I bought a computer yesterday. A laptopular computer that is on the top of my lap as we speak. It was an expensive and beautiful gift to me and I love it. I love it so much that I plan on using it. For school purposes? YOU BET YOUR ASS. But also for non school, blogging and fun time purposes. I make it my new computer resolution to write on this blog every day. Starting today.
And today's a busy day!
I'm about to take off to help move my g-folks into their new lodge. It's waaaayyyy past time they left the farm. This is a big day for my family. Much less worrying about them dying of malnutrition or falling down stairs and all that jazz. My g-pa's a typical stubborn old man though, so it took years of work on my mom's part to convince her folks they needed to leave the place he's been living since he was a baby.
2 minutes left.
So - other goals for the next day? Rake leaves, clean house, write halloween story, research communication journals pertaining to some theory i'm writing about later and MAKE ROBO COSTUME. That's it! I have till noon tomorrow.
Now 1 minute left. I guess I'll just use it to say
Hooker Monkey.
Love yous.
Anne
- Also, I'm totally cracking a beer after moving.

Ask the Magic 8 Ball!!!

Dear Magic 8 Ball

Q1: I'm sorry I neglected you - are you mad at me?
A1: Signs point to yes.

I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Q2: Forgive me?
A2: Outlook good.

:D :D :D

Q3: (For Adam) Will Savage Garden die in a horrible head on collision with Hilary Duff?
A3: Don't count on it.

Well, annoying ppl don't deserve death. As an annoying person, I support this answer.

Q4: Will you be my boyfriend?
A4: Ask again later.

Still a little pissed I ignored you for so long, eh?

Q5: Magic 8 Ball, what's your best memory?
A5: Outlook not so good.

Had a rough life, eh? You poor dear. You know my best memory with you?
Right now, Magic 8 Ball. This moment we are sharing together.

Q6: Now will you be my boyfriend?
A6: My reply is no.

I'll win you over eventually, Magic 8 Ball.

Q7: Is there someone else?
A7: Ask again later.

Oh.

Q8: It's like that?
A8: Don't count on it.

You're confusing me 8 Ball. Maybe we should talk again when you're not so pissy. I have standards, you know. You can't just play "ambiguous 8 Ball" and expect me to stick around. 8 Ball.
You know what? I take back my reply to Q5. We've had way better talks than this.

Anyone have a question for the 8 Ball? Like "Where do you get off talking to Anne Baxter like that?" or "What should I make for dinner?"

Yackety Yack

Don't talk back.

Movies I want to watch??? Deadwalkers is playing Oct 7 - 15 bucks a ticket! Adam! Your brother is in this - don't you want to see it??? I surely do.

What else... well... I have the house to myself right now so Ima play music. Hopefully I'll get my act together and do some homework in a bit. Gaging by how excited I am to drink tonight, I definitely shouldn't leave it till tomorrow morn before class.

Sorry I'm so boring right now. Why don't you yell blopics at me? That would be swell.

Halloween Costume

Okay. I've decided. Although I appreciate Frank's skateboard offering, I'm going as a Ghostbuster. With the emergence of the Ghostbusters video game, as well as with the new movie coming out next year, I feel this costume will keep me ahead of the curve of awesome. Plus, it'll be a dream realized. I'm satisfied.
What of life?
Life's great!!! I love lamp. I love mistakes, I love excitement, I love experience and learning. I love bubblegum, I love animals, I love you, I love me. And I love coffee.

Movies I want you to watch with me:
Inglorious Basterds
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
The Cove
Zombieland
Dead Snow

Update: Found skanky Ghostbuster's costume. YES!!! (Too bad it only comes in size WTF?)



Update II : Found another chick Ghostbuster uniform. This one also makes me hate being a woman.